Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Tip Sensitivity Training

As a server, I should be making a lot more money than I do .However, thanks to a wide range of reasons; tipping 20% is still the exception and not the rule. Previous misconceptions about servers have led people to believe that bad service is intentional, often resulting in poor tipping habits. Due to the current economic climate, thousands of college graduates have no other option than to earn a living in the service industry.  Combined with a desire to remain profitable and stay open, the standard level of service in restaurants across the country has improved. And yet, tipping habits have not.

According to the National Restaurant Association, restaurant industry sales are projected to total $660.5 billion for 2013, demonstrating that Americans are willing to spend their hard earned money on food but not on tips. Because if everyone tipped around 20%, the 13.1 million servers across the country would accumulate over $1.2 trillion in tips. My math stops here, but I think its safe to say, there aren’t many, if any, rich servers.
The economy is an easy scapegoat for bad tippers. However, in my experience; poor tipping habits are the product of selfishness and ignorance.  Yes, the economy is responsible for smaller budgets but the numbers prove that people are not willing to give up the experience and convenience of dining out. But instead of choosing less expensive entrees or going out one less time a week, people selfishly accommodate their budgets through the tip to the server, because this is the part of their experience that affects them the least. Less offensive, but just as damaging, is the practice of ignorantly justifying a bad tip because of poor service.  Tight budgets are making people less empathetic and more likely to look for reasons to decrease the tip.
Servers are working hard to ensure that you feel good about spending your hard earned money. It is a selfish and ignorant decision to reward that hard work with a bad tip. This problem would be solved ( so would world peace) if everyone was required to work in the service industry for at least one week. Much to the disappointment of bad tippers everywhere, I was unable to get this enforced. Servers are trained to provide a pleasantly memorable experience to everyone they serve. But are people trained to be good guests? I think if there was a poll, most servers would agree, a lot of people are very difficult to wait on. Given all the training servers have to go through for a job they are more than likely over qualified for, maybe people would benefit from a servers perspective.
Tipping Sensitivity Training
Many people are under the false impression that despite having never worked in any type of service industry, the Food Network has clued them in all things restaurant and service related. Unless you are willing to try serving for even just one day, please accept that you do not and will not ever understand. More so now than ever, people are relying on tips to make a living; so despite what you might believe, most people are striving to provide you with perfect service. Often, things that are out of your servers control will be misconstrued as bad service. However, there are times when unfortunantly, you just get really bad service.
The most important thing to remember is just like you rely on your paycheck to survive, servers rely on tips. Similarly, they should be earned. After this, you should be able to differentiate between bad service and busy service.
Why 20% Should Be Everyone’s Baseline Tip
  1. In general, a servers base pay is $2.13 an hour.
  2. Depending on the restaurant, most servers will never take home 100% of the tips they make. There are other employees (food runners, service bar, the host staff) that will get a share of their tips. This is called tip share.
  3. Often, tip share is based on a servers total food sales. This means that even if they received no tip at all from some tables, they still have to tip out on those sales. Basically, if you leave no tip, the server just paid to wait on you.
Outstanding service deserves more. Bad service deserves less. Based on the standards restaurants are trying to hold their servers to, bad service should not be something you frequently encounter. Bad service and busy service can look similar. If it’s a busy shift, look around and see if you see your server stopping by a lot of tables. If that’s the case, try and be a little understanding that your drink is getting low. More than likely, there are guests engaging in irritating behaviors described below. If its not busy, and you never see your server…
There are a lot of things going on in the back of the restaurant that servers are responsible for despite the popular opinion that we are back there doing nothing. Just keep that in mind if you need something and your server isn’t readily available. Attitude(caring/helpful but appears busy or lethargic/lack of empathy) can determine if you think you're getting bad service or busy service.

Irritating Guest Behaviors
Although they might seem insignificant, here are some behaviors to avoid that drive servers crazy no matter where you are eating and what kind of response or reaction to expect
  1. Don’t give me drink order and ask for peanuts/bread/rolls before you even allow me to say my name.
That’s fine, but since my name isn’t important, I won’t be repeating it and I don’t answer to finger snapping, keys jingling or hand waving.
  1. Don’t try to get my attention by snapping your fingers, jingling your keys, or waving your hand.
I am required to introduce myself. Either you weren’t listening or you interrupted me. If you ask, I will repeat my name…or a fake one.
  1. Don’t tell me you and your 5 guests are ready to order and then you aren’t.
I have no problem answering your questions. And as much as you believe you are…you are not my only table. But unfortunately, I do not have time to list the 12 sides and 12 salad dressings to Every. Single. Person.  I will point them out to you on the menu and tell you I’ll be right back. There is someone snapping her fingers at me.
  1. If I ask you if you would like an appetizer or a starter, don’t ask for the free bread/peanuts/rolls.
Appetizers are something you pay for that not everyone gets. The bread/peanuts/rolls are guaranteed…but it might take longer for you to get them now.
  1. Don’t hold my table for 3 hours, especially on a Friday or Saturday.
I appreciated your business but Starbucks has nicer chairs. Unless you want to pay rent. And in that case, its 20-30 an hour. Which is what I could have made if YOU HADNT BEEN TALKING ABOUT NOTHING 3 HOURS AFTER YOU ATE! And no, you will not be getting a refill. The coffee is cold because I poured it 3 hours ago.
  1. Don’t berate me because your favorite dish was removed from the menu.
Although my server apron and matching staff uniform makes me look dignified, I actually have no direct connection to the important person who makes those decisions. But yes, I will make sure that the VIP gets your complaint Mr. Smith
  1. Don’t tell that I cooked your entrĂ©e wrong.
I’m sorry I cooked it wrong. I forgot about it while I was out in the dining room waiting on you.
  1. Don’t hand me a credit card and a gift card and tell me to do the gift card first.
SHUT UP!!!! AND THIS WHOLE TIME….I’ve been running the credit card for a random amount hoping that the gift card would have enough to cover the balance! THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.

Like any profession, waiting on tables is not something everyone can do. The communication skills I have learned are invaluable and it has given me a deeper appreciation for genuinely decent people. Most importantly I have learned how just a few dollars can make or break you. The next time you go out to eat and you think about leaving $8 instead of $10, ask yourself if you’ll ever miss that $2. Despite good service, your server may have been getting undertipped all day and its not their fault you really didn’t need to come out and eat today. All those $2 dollars add up fast.
Because I am a server, there are a lot of things I do, but really don’t need to be spending money on. However, every time I consider keeping that extra $2 or $3 dollars, I have to remind myself that it was my decision to eat out and my server shouldn’t be punished for my irresponsibility.

Ugh. Budgets, Diets, and Exercise. The Typical Millennial Nightmares

I relish the freedom that growing up has given me, but navigating through the unknown terrain of adulthood can often feel like a never ending trek through a land-mine of unforeseen costs and bigger scarier issues. Even though I am trying to adapt, I still envy the blissful unawareness and trivial problems of a 6 year old. Giving up is not an option, but sometimes I wish I could stop, stick my lip out, and kick and scream until someone brings me some ice cream and points me in the right direction.
RELATED: Generation Miley
Through all of the struggles, I have developed a new respect for the importance of budgeting, exercising, and healthy eating. These represent  some of the things I can actually control and make simple. Because in the chaotic and stressful world that characterizes adulthood, I have found that most things rarely offer that luxury. Multiple interviews don’t guarantee a job, the check engine light actually indicates a car problem, taxes take the fun out of paychecks, and relationships seldom end with happily ever after.
There are many variables that I have little to no control over, but that does not apply to my diet, my workouts, and my ability to stay within a budget. To maintain a grip on these important aspects of my life, I have to keep them simple because this keeps me from feeling overwhelmed. Instead of following a strict diet or training schedule,  I use these simple tricks below to keep my body and my bank account healthy.
Exercise Simply
  1. I prefer a workout routine that I put together myself. Running, although high impact, is a great way to exercise if you don’t like gyms or your budget isn’t ready for one yet.
  2. To work out my arms, I stick with the classics: push ups, dips, and I own a couple of 10 and 15 pound weights.
  3. To add extra tone to my legs: I do lunges after my run.
  4. Wall sits are another easy way to work out your legs.

How to Exercise in an Apartment and Forever Asleep demonstrate a few of these exercises and offer a few more.
My advice: Pick out a few of the exercises you like best and stick with them for a while. Get comfortable doing those and then incorporate other exercises. Don’t complicate your routine. It’s something you should look forward too, not dread.
Again, these are all simple, old school workouts that don’t require a gym membership and are often easy to do in and around wherever you live.
Diet Simply
I did weight watchers off and on for my first couple of year in college, after gaining the freshman 15 and adding the sophomore 10. Although that was further back then I care to admit, I still keep an eye on the amount of fat, calories, and fiber in a food while grocery shopping. Obviously sodium, sugar, and a host of other things affect the nutrition content of a food, that’s a quick way to check myself before buying something totally detrimental to my waistline.
Diets are complicated. It can be as simple as portion control. Don’t completely deny yourself of the foods you love, because more than likely, you’ll end up bingeing, and eating way more than you ever intended.
Try using this budget friendly list of healthy foods next time you go grocery shopping. It provides you with simple options for a healthier diet:

STILL CRAVING YOUR SECRET FOOD PLEASURE?!?!
Craving something bad?!?! Take a bite of your secret pleasure, quickly drink a glass of water, wait a minute, take another small bite, and then again quickly drink another glass of water…you’ll feel full without having to completely lose yourself in your favorite treat.
FRIENDLIER FAST FOOD:
If you forget to pack your lunch or just tired of eating at home, ignore your inner devil and don’t order the Big Mac. Instead, try one of these healthier fast food options:


WATER (The EASIEST WAY TO SIMPLIFY YOUR DIET AND BUDGET)
Even when I am having an unhealthy day or week…I always feel a little bit better about myself by drinking water. Duh, its one of the simplest healthiest tidbits known to mankind. But drinking water really isn’t that easy, is it? No, not when there are cokes, and smoothies, Starbucks, and wine that can just as easily satisfy your thirst, albeit temporarily.
I have always struggled with drinking water...until I discovered it wasn’t the water I had a problem with, it was more often what I was drinking it out of. I don’t like drinking bottled water, except for smart water…which is definitely not budget friendly. The smart water bottle is my absolute favorite drinking receptacle which I still splurge on occasionally (weird yes, but effective). In order to stay hydrated without smart water, I found a large tervis tumbler with a straw holder that I can drink water out of. Because if I can’t have a smart water…I have to have a straw. If you struggle with water intake…try to discover your favorite water drinking receptacle. I found that the bigger, the better…less refills.
RELATED: Debating Obesity
Also, when eating out…drink water!!
Yes, its friendlier on your budget (a soft drink can add $3-4 dollars to your bill), but also think of it this way…it is your opportunity to have someone else prepare and refill your water as many times as you desire!! Drink up! PS..water is one of the few things I have absolutely no problem refilling numerous times as a server…CONGRATS!! You are being healthy!!!

Budgeting Made Easy
Budgets OVERWHELM me, especially complicated ones. Its difficult to sit down and actually see how much money you spend. And although it sucks, its much better than trying to guess how much money you MIGHT have at the end of the month.
After trying a few (the Bank of America budget template sent me straight to the wine bottle), I found this budget guide that fit me best:
Life After College also offers great suggestions and other templates for a complicated life:
I will forever and always, love fast food. It is definitely my guilty pleasure. In order to save my waistline and my bank account, I employ this FANTASTIC TRICK:
And Last But Not Least: The Simplest And Cheapest Thing Of All
FIND YOUR MOTIVATION:
Argue all you want, but Americans, especially our generation, are lazy. YAY..Mexico has become a fatter nation than us! But that shouldn’t make anyone feel better. Obesity is an EPIDEMIC! The health risks associated with being obese and overweight are not a secret to anyone anymore. I believe, that in order to truly change your lifestyle habits, you have to find your motivation. My motivation: I was 105 pounds entering my freshman year of college in 2003. In 2009, when I graduated, I was 130 pounds. A…yes.. I partied and I took some time to graduate…happy hour was always more fun than studying or even going to a class..duh! B…the partying obviously directly contributed to my weight gain…not just the alcohol…but the greasy foods I craved for my hangover and the total inability to exercise after a night of shots. PS…although 25 pounds may not seem like an extreme amount…I am barely 5 feet tall and it certainly added up on my petite frame.
Consequently, when I graduated and moved in with my parents for a year..the weight just fell off with little effort on my part. Although, without the ever present hangover…I could stomach healthier food options and found the energy to start exercising again.
My Point: I motivate myself to stay healthy with this saying:
It was acceptable to gain weight in college, and it was great that I lost weight after college…and it will be embarrassing to me if I gain that college weight back. That is my motivation…it works better than knowing the health benefits of exercise, because sometimes that knowledge just isn’t going to get your ass to work out.






The Not So Affordable Care Act

AFFORDABLE. Defined by the Webster's College Dictionary as: Considered to be within one's financial means.
Guess what?! A $72.68 increase IS NOT within my financial means. So already, this government program designed to "affordably insure" the vast majority of Americans has Pissed.Me.Off.
Normally, I try to stay blissfully ignorant when it comes to all things governmental, especially since Obama was elected and then reelected. If you ask me what party I associate myself with, I proudly say "Republican" but will walk away should the conversation delve any deeper into politics. Not because I can't defend my allegiance, but because I refuse to argue with an Obama loving liberal. No one ever wins, friendships can be compromised, and Obama will still be President. I would rather move to Canada then vote for a Democrat or a woman. Should I have ever have to choose between voting for a Democratic Man or Republican Woman, I will move to Canada. Playing ice hockey without a helmet sounds more appealing than enduring 4 years with either as President.
Silver Lining: Should I return, any residual injuries or side effects I suffer from my helmetless adventure would have to be covered under the new ACA.
//
I digress.
Prior to receiving the letter, I was unaware and slightly unconcerned with how "Obamacare" would effect me. After all, I have great insurance that I am able to afford on my own and will cover me in the event of an accident or medical emergency which, I know now, is exactly what the Affordable Care Act(ACA) is offering to everyone. So even though I hand picked my old plan because it worked for me, it fails to comply with the new regulations set by the ACA. And these new regulations are exactly what is now making my new plan totally unaffordable. According to an article in Forbes, there are many others who will be affected in a similar way:
 Middle-class Americans face the double-whammy of higher insurance premiums, and higher taxes to pay for other people’s subsidies. Most people with average incomes will pay more under Obamacare for individually-purchased insurance than they did before. The overall results make clear that most people will not receive enough in subsidies to counteract the degree to which Obamacare drives premiums upward.
Remember that nearly two-thirds of the uninsured are under the age of 40. And that young and healthy people are essential to Obamacare; unless these individuals are willing to pay more for health insurance to subsidize everyone else, the exchanges will not serve the goal of providing coverage to the uninsured. For months, we’ve heard about how Obamacare’s trillions in health care subsidies were going to save America from rate shock. It’s not true. If you shop for coverage on your own, you’re likely to see your rates go up, even after accounting for the impact of pre-existing conditions, even after accounting for the impact of subsidies.
Rates are going higher. And if you’re healthy, or you’re young, the Obama administration expects you to do your duty and pay up.
Many 27-year-olds will face steep increases in the underlying cost of individually-purchased insurance under Obamacare: rates will go up for men by an average of 97 percent; for women, 55 percent.
HealthLawHelper estimates that around 51% of all Americans are confused about how the new health laws affect them. Well Duh. Because this is the first thing I read about the “Affordable Care Act”:
According to ObamaCareFacts:
ObamaCare's goal is give more Americans access to affordable, quality health insurance and to reduce the growth in health care spending in the U.S
The ObamaCare fact is the average American will save money under ObamaCare. In fact, many Americans are already paying less for health care services.
Wrong. An EIGHT HUNDRED AND SEVENTY TWO DOLLAR ANNUAL INCREASE in my insurance is not AFFORDABLE. This also means that I am NOT SAVING MONEY and clearly NOT PAYING LESS for my health care services. WTF.
I am aware that prior to ObamaCare, over 48 million Americans were uninsured and I believe that they are entitled to receive affordable health care. But this is not the way to do it.
The premise of the ACA,which I will now refer to as the NSACA (not so ACA,) is to provide nearly every American with affordable health insurance with a focus on preventative care. The NSACA even names ten essential health benefits that all plans must cover. However, there are roughly 315 million people in the United States and of those, 154.7 million adults and 23.9 children are overweight or obese. Data from the National Survey of Childrens Health shows:
The obesity epidemic is disproportionally more rampant among children living in low income, low education, and higher unemployment households.
Statistics from PfizerFacts show that the uninsured share similar demographics:
  • Low income is a risk factor for not having insurance.
  • Service workers, along with blue-collar and farm workers, make up the bulk of the 24 million uninsured employer-based workers.
  • One third of uninsured children live in families with annual household incomes below $25,000; 19% of children living in such households are uninsured.
Would it be wrong to assume that many of the uninsured now covered by the NSACA will need far more than just preventative care? Meaning that, from the statistics, it could be assumed that a significant amount of uninsured people are also overweight or obese and will require secondary or tertiary care that is far more expensive than preventative care. According to the CDC:
The medical care costs of obesity in the United States are staggering. In 2008 dollars, these costs totaled about $147 billion
What will it cost now?
Concerned about my increase, I called the lifelong family friend from whom I bought my insurance. When I discussed the letter and the increase with him, he laughed sarcastically but told me that $250 was incredibly reasonable. He encouraged me to take it because premiums were expected to triple. I discussed with him the "marketplace" but we both knew that it was not a reasonable alternative because of the limited number of doctors and medical networks.
Also, currently, I am not eligible to receive the "subsidies" that makes the NSACA so attractive to many of the currently uninsured. Why? Because my employer offers health insurance but I chose to buy my own. I work for Longhorn Steakhouse which is owned by Darden Restaurants. Even before the NSACA, they offered their non salaried employees a very limited list of insurance options. I tried it, but the coverage was inadequate and it affected my taxes at the end of the year, so I chose to find my own independent insurancee, which prior to the increase, was only 30 dollars more  and I was well covered.
Although I am not sure how the Darden insurance has adapted to the laws of the NSACA, I have no desire to receive coverage from my employer. Because of this, under the new laws, if I were to buy from the marketplace, I can't receive any subsidies and decrease my premium.
Another law under the NSACA states that full time equates to 30 hours or more. Many people who relied on 30 hours or even overtime are finding themselves unable to make ends meet because they are no longer able to work more than 28.5 hours. According to an article from the TheBrennerBrief:
With the implementation of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), one of its most lasting and far-reaching (and unintended) consequences is already emerging. Employers who have numerous, relatively low-pay employees are changing their practices to employ these workers only 30 hours per week. This keeps them below the threshold for full-time employment, and relieves employers of the economic burden of paying for health insurance — or paying a penalty for not doing so.
There are over 13.1 million food and beverage workers in the United States. Many of them work well over 30 hours. However, their hours have been cut so that their employers do not have to offer them health insurance. An article in Forbes describes Obamacare's Acute Affliction on Restaurant Workers:
Put plainly, the ACA undermines the flexibility of scheduling that has helped ensure a quality dining experience for customers, not to mention provided employees the convenience of flexible schedules and the ability to earn more income as their time permits.   Employees throughout the restaurant industry have embraced and enjoyed this benefit for decades, and they are about to lose it.  As it stands, the net effect of these requirements will be a limitation of the earning potential of the millions of Americans who work in the restaurant industry.
It just keeps getting better and better. Increased premium rates but less hours to earn the money to pay for it.
After discussing it with my insurance man further and lots of exhausting and confusing research, I decided to lock myself into the increased rate of $250 good through January 2015. This is currently my best option as it is obvious that rates will go up far beyond this as early as May 2014.
Congratulations: You survived Bush, but will our wallets survive Obama?

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Dumb or Diseased?


America’s obesity epidemic is of great interest to me. Having just recently graduated with a Masters in Health and Physical Education, I have seen the efforts being made by schools and universities to enhance a childs physical education. However, I have served in a steakhouse for over 7 years, and have been privy to the efforts families make to enhance their waistlines. As much as the educator in me wants to believe that people don’t blatantly disregard the overwhelming warnings about poor eating habits and the value of healthy eating and exercise, the server in me has seen people do it too many times.

Sweet Tea, Coke, and other soda options were not an option for me as a child as water was my only choice. More often than not, I see parents allow their child to suck down 6 glasses of their sugary drinks, probably because they are only concerned with receiving their 7th refill. The amount of sugar and calories in these drinks have been well exploited. I would also like to add that even though you ordered diet coke, after drinking 4 glasses, it is no longer a healthier option. PS…ordering water for you and your kids will save you about 2.50 a drink….which could be used towards the tip…water is easier to refill than Mr.Pibb…

Cheesefries have never nor should they ever be ordered as a meal for any person, let alone a child. Especially when the salad ordered from them contains only iceberg lettuce (the lettuce that provides absolutely nothing to your body..aka the redneck lettuce), extra cheese, ranch, and crotons but NO tomatoes or cucumbers. Basically, any excuse to eat ranch dressing. Sometimes people just forgo even the lettuce and just ask for cheese and crotons.

More often than not, these are the families that had to request a table because a booth isn’t large enough for them or had to ask for a large booth that should seat six but will barely accommodate their family of 4.

Older generations, such as my parents, didn’t have the education that so many people do now about portion control, exercise, and calories. And yet, this is the fattest generation we have ever seen and it is only getting worse. I am a firm believer that the root of childhood obesity can be traced back to the parents. Portion control shouldn’t have to be taught. If you eat fried foods and cheeseburgers every day, how in the world would you not expect to gain weight?? Americans used to understand that. So my question might be, as we as a country get fatter, are we also getting dumber? Test scores from around the world might indicate that we are.

If you are reading this and don’t know me, you might be thinking I am some skinny bitch who has never dealt with weight issues. You would be right about the skinny bitch, but I have definitely had weight issues. Currently healthy at 105 pounds, I remain in shape by running and using portion control. However, in college, I gained 30 pounds because I chose to ignore my education, and decreased my activity level and increased my greasy food and beer intake.

After college, I conveniently remembered everything I had been taught over the years and started using my common sense. Running and a healthy diet, with definite occasional splurges, allowed me to shed the weight over the course of a year. I believe this is a dying practice

Look at the ways more and more Americans are trying to lose weight. Gone are the days of shedding pounds in a healthy way over a longer period of time. People want to lose weight quickly and much like they did on their journey to becoming obese, they disregard the harmful effects of their actions on their body. I believe the dangerous stomach stapling surgeries, cleanses, and diets that are so currently popular have been sending out a very risky and powerful message: “It doesn’t take hard work to get what you want.” And unfortunately, I think it is obvious that this is the mindset so many Americans have begun to encompass. Many people want to lose weight fast or get rich with minimal effort. Younger generations feel entitled to instead of working hard for some of the creature comforts we all desire. Although I know it still exists, that American spirit of working hard for what you want is quickly diminishing.

I was at a water park outside of Atlanta a few days ago, and I still haven’t figured out if I had more fun on the rides or people watching. I feel like I was watching a showcase featuring America’s most unhealthy families. I am not being critical when I say we were in the minority by not being overweight or obese. I actually thought to myself, “Americans in general are a terrible looking population.” I know this is obviously a very small demographic but it was still very disconcerting. The south has some of the highest rates of obesity. Seeing these people walking around in bathing suits with no apparent concern for the excess weight displayed made me ask the question, “when did it become normal for people to be so fat?”

I know it is incredibly important to have a healthy self image. People need to be comfortable with themselves and their body. But where should the line be drawn? Now considered a disease, allowing these obese people to be comfortable with their body is like encouraging a smoker to keep lighting up.  

Americans have become desensitized to the dangers of obesity. Allowing it to be so common that is now considered a disease should be a huge warning sign to those of us concerned with the state of our country. It appears that the concept of self control is being lost.  People are more willing to lose limbs from the complications of diabetes or endure a possibly fatal heart attack rather than stop going to McDonalds.

My education is in health and wellness. Prior to receiving my masters, I earned a bachelors degree in Health Promotion and Behavior. I am well aware of the difficulties that can cause weight gain. I know that unhealthy food is almost always cheaper to purchase than healthier options such as fruits and veggies. I know there is varying combination of factors that can allow people to become obese. Is there too much empathy for the obese? Should we continue to enlarge seats and increase weight maximums to accommodate the growing obese demographic? Are the accommodations and modifications being made for the obese actually encouraging people to not change?
I work hard to maintain my weight. I try to eat healthy. I indulge in double quarter pounders. I almost understand how obesity first emerged due increased portion sizes and decreased activity. But what I am still trying to fathom is why it is only getting worse.  

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Creeper Said WHAT?!?!?!?

One of the best parts of growing up in the 90's was watching some of the decades best pre-teen shows and from them, formulating the utterly perfect and practically impossible experiences that I would enjoy while I grew up . Boy Meets World convinced me that I would meet my best friend in 6th grade and that I would be able to seek advice from my neighbor and principal. The Fresh Prince led me to believe that regardless of the trouble I got into, a quick wit and rich Uncle woulld always rescue me. High school was going to revolve around friends and fun with tests few and far between as so perfectly demonstrated by Zack and the Gang.
These shows, along with many others, also planted the seed early on about one true loves. Zach and Kelly and Corey and Topanga were my role models and idols in regards to relationships. But alas, middle school, high school, and even college came and went without even a trace of a 90's like relationship. Although I am now finally in my first serious relationship, I learned a long time ago that love is rarely found in your 7th grade world history class. Maybe its taken me so long to find my current relationship because these shows never showed me what to do if I didnt meet and fall in love with Zack Morris. For example, what happened to Lisa Turtles love life?!?!?!

Social media and advancements in technology have obviously changed the way we meet and interact with people, especially in regards to dating. Most of us who remember these shows probably still hope and expect to meet someone the old fashioned way. But when that fails, online dating websites are now some of peoples most popular back up plans.

I tried one a few years back when I was living with my parents after graduating from college. I was in dire need of social interection with someone under the age of 30, as most of the residents on Amelia Island were well over the age of 50. Coupled with the "winking" and overwhelming amount of UF gator fans, I quickly deactivated my account. In hindsight, Florida probably wasnt the best place to begin my online dating search, where men think jean shorts are cool and that hair gel fixes any bad haircut. Beyond that, I couldnt believe what guys would say and then assume I should become immediately enamored with them. I cant remember specifics, but I thought I was just looking at the wrong population of men.

Until recently. A couple of good friends of mine recently decided to try online dating. In Georgia, where men wear flat front khakis and hair is free of gel. However, it seems as though, men can be creepy and weird anywhere. Does sitting in front of a computer give men less of a filter than being
in a dark bar after a few shots? It just might. As my friends continue their search, they have given me permission chronicle some of the completely ridiculous things men say in my new project:

Creeper Say WHAT?!?!?!

Talking with a new prospective date, my friend discussed one day learning how to play tennis. The creepers response, asking for a picture by saying "Haha-I want to see u lookin pro as a tennis star". CREEPER SAY WHAT?!?!!? This was also mentioned after he suggested they take a Beach trip together!! They havent even met!!

Around the same time, my other friend was getting asked "how flexible she was". CREEPER SAY WHAT?!?!?!

I was only given permission to write about this if I could one day write a highly successful book that would eventually allow us to retire to the beach. So keep the creepy stories coming...

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Faking it

My profile mentions that I am a single mid twenty year old. I guess I should update it. Last august, not only did my age take the plunge, so did my relationship status. I officially turned 28, making me "late twenties" by everyones definition but mine, and I became involved in a full time relationship. I know I was a bitter person before, but being in a relationship might have made me even more bitter. Why? Because relationships are harder work than studying for an organic chemistry test at 3 am after a sunday funday. Multiply that times ten when your "significant other" has a 3 year old. Muitiply that times 100 when you both are still working as servers and you have a masters degree, but he has a child. 
Read this and tell me to break up with my boyfriend. But read this and tell me with 100% honesty that your life is all roses and breakfast in bed. As depressing as this might sound, I enjoy reading all the happy go lucky statuses of people "lucky in love" only because I know in 3-6 years, they are going to be divorced, miserable and broke. Its all fun and games until you cant fake it anymore.  I am a firm believer in that the happier people seem on Facebook, the more miserable they are in real life. I know that you believe you married the best man on the planet and that you are the luckiest woman in the world.IT WAS IMPLIED ON THE DAY YOU MARRIED HIM WHEN I WITNESSED YOU TWO EXCHANGE voWS!!! The more your daily updates remind me of that, the more I believe all you two are really doing is fighting over dish towels and blowjobs.
Social media makes everything easy to fake. A few words on Facebook, and your life is PERFECT. A picture on instagram and everyone is ENVIOUS. Even 3 seconds on snapchat and your life can become a fairytale. I think that is what I am so scared of. That somehow I am faking my own happiness. I dont broadcast it on facebbok, or post it on instagram, only because my happiness is so fleeting. 
I applied to today for an internship at an internet magazine. They encourage women to lead "confident, happy, and healthy lives". I offered a different perspective. I am still searching for that life. One day I might be healthy, but not happy, and the next vice versa. I would like to explore and discover different ways to become all three. And i think the magazine would benefit from my point of view.  Who knows how it will turn out. But maybe if I get the job, I'll post a status about it on Facebook. And if you are anything like me, you'll be waiting for the post about how "it didn't work out".

Friday, May 24, 2013

The Joys Of Waiting on Tables


Well, I'm back. And now, instead of blogging to procrastinate in school, it seems as though I am blogging to procrastinate in life. I graduated with my masters in December and officially became certified to mold young minds in April. My life as a professional student is over. I have no desire to obtain any kind of doctorate, and for the first time ever, I can no longer judge the progression of time in “semesters”. Instead, I am seeing time and dates as most people do long before the age of 28. My years are no longer divided into cozy 4 month blocks of time that begin with outlined syllabi, a replenished bank account, and fresh notebooks, and eventually end with a promise to “do better next class” and a pleading call to dad for gas money. Now, my time is managed by the beginning of the month(Bills), and the end of the month(enough money for bills next month?!). It doesn’t matter how many days in between, because it is never enough. “Time is flying” not because I am having fun, but because I am desperately trying to stop it or at least slow it down, so that I might be able to decide on a direction for my future.

I have the tools and the education to readily pick a career, thus giving me the direction I so desperately crave. However, being behind the curve on the whole job thing has proven beneficial, if only slightly. To elaborate, many of my friends and acquaintances have been working diligently in the real world for at least a few years now. And it has been my observation that while some are very happy, there are a great many others that are incredibly dissatisfied with their current jobs or careers (this information is based solely on Facebook statuses and the daily complaints I hear from my sister and close friends in regards to the dreadfulness of their jobs). I too currently possess a job I do not like. Waiting tables is not what I intend to do for the rest of my life. But because it allows me to pay my bills and offers a flexible schedule, I have the opportunity to hopefully hold out for something I have a passion for. With so many people saying they “hate their jobs”, present company included, I want to be certain I am not trading one bad job for an even worse career.

Knowing all this and that there is an end in sight makes it no easier to wait on tables full time. Maybe if I could wear my cap and gown both embroidered with the colleges I attended and the degrees I earned would it make it a little more entertaining and slightly more bearable. Especially since many of the people throwing down their UGA debit card have only seen North Campus from the images broadcast on gameday. However, a robe would prevent me from reaching over the table and filling up that 7th glass of sweet tea and I’d probably end up throwing my cap at some child whose parents were under the impression mac and cheese is meant to go under the table. The point wouldn’t be to show off my education, but rather prove that just because I am a server, it doesn’t make me dumber than you (Disregard this if you graduated from or in any way associate yourself with Auburn, everyone is smarter than you.)

If you have never served or known anyone who has served, it would be easy to assume I am in fact dumb, and that my guests are smarter than me. But while I try and discover what my next adventure, sans the semester timeline, might be (and blog about it), I think I might also try and discover at least 100 real life examples of “really dumb things people say or do while out to eat.” From a servers point of view.

Simply because I love poking fun at the people I wait on, I’ll start right away.

EXAMPLE #1

I walk out into the dining room and notice one of my larger tables has been set with 6 menus and 6 sets of silver wear. The host is showing 1 woman to the table. I approach the table, and before I can even say hello, she finds it necessary to inform me she is waiting on FIVE MORE PEOPLE, FIVE!

“Ohhhhhh!!!! I just thought you wanted to spell check a small sample of our menus while you were waiting on your food!!”