Thursday, June 6, 2013

Faking it

My profile mentions that I am a single mid twenty year old. I guess I should update it. Last august, not only did my age take the plunge, so did my relationship status. I officially turned 28, making me "late twenties" by everyones definition but mine, and I became involved in a full time relationship. I know I was a bitter person before, but being in a relationship might have made me even more bitter. Why? Because relationships are harder work than studying for an organic chemistry test at 3 am after a sunday funday. Multiply that times ten when your "significant other" has a 3 year old. Muitiply that times 100 when you both are still working as servers and you have a masters degree, but he has a child. 
Read this and tell me to break up with my boyfriend. But read this and tell me with 100% honesty that your life is all roses and breakfast in bed. As depressing as this might sound, I enjoy reading all the happy go lucky statuses of people "lucky in love" only because I know in 3-6 years, they are going to be divorced, miserable and broke. Its all fun and games until you cant fake it anymore.  I am a firm believer in that the happier people seem on Facebook, the more miserable they are in real life. I know that you believe you married the best man on the planet and that you are the luckiest woman in the world.IT WAS IMPLIED ON THE DAY YOU MARRIED HIM WHEN I WITNESSED YOU TWO EXCHANGE voWS!!! The more your daily updates remind me of that, the more I believe all you two are really doing is fighting over dish towels and blowjobs.
Social media makes everything easy to fake. A few words on Facebook, and your life is PERFECT. A picture on instagram and everyone is ENVIOUS. Even 3 seconds on snapchat and your life can become a fairytale. I think that is what I am so scared of. That somehow I am faking my own happiness. I dont broadcast it on facebbok, or post it on instagram, only because my happiness is so fleeting. 
I applied to today for an internship at an internet magazine. They encourage women to lead "confident, happy, and healthy lives". I offered a different perspective. I am still searching for that life. One day I might be healthy, but not happy, and the next vice versa. I would like to explore and discover different ways to become all three. And i think the magazine would benefit from my point of view.  Who knows how it will turn out. But maybe if I get the job, I'll post a status about it on Facebook. And if you are anything like me, you'll be waiting for the post about how "it didn't work out".

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